Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
