Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I looked at my own cervix.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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