Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
