this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
