just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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