So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize