yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
