his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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