I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize