I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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