what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
