I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
