So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
