Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
