In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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