my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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