You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Houston, we have a squirter
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
