This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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