she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
