doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
