there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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