I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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