i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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