Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
