we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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