it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He better not be in your backpack
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
