I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
