I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
