Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize