my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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