The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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