my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
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And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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