im holly from the hills drunk
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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