Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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