just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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