My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
