i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
just tell him i said nine months
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
