She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
