so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
