I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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