Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
too bad you live with your parents still
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
