from now on my penis is your penis
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
