Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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