how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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