In the future we'll all be gay
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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