38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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