Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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