so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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