I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
She's just so happy...and so naked.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
