the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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