scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I have peed in a lot of sinks
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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