The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize