I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
