She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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