Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
