Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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