it's too hot outside to masturbate.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
