Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
