What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
