I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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