I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
