i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize