She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
