So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
