The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
