she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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