Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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